Hollywood's Next shIT Girl!

I was lured into doing "Pretty Wicked" through misrepresentation; the network told us the show was called "Hollywood's Next It Girl." However, after reading all of the negative public comments and reactions today, I feel like....

HOLLYWOOD'S NEXT SHIT GIRL!

It appears that with the unusually high unemployment rate, there are a lot of mean, uneducated people sitting at home with nothing better to do than post grammatically incorrect, misspelled comments that claim all of the Pretty Wicked girls look like "fat, ugly men." Ok, ok, you unemployed haters busted us and should definitely look into being writers for reality television... because you ruined the second twist to the show...

We ARE all trannies!

Please tune in March 31 to watch us fat, ugly men compete to transform into beautiful, post-op women!

Fools.

... Until then I'm going on an Oxygen diet; I'm trading Oxygen for gummi bears so the haters can legitimately call me fat when the reunion rolls around!

Lastly, because I’m self-employed (not to be mistaken for unemployed) and do my best to do nothing productive all day long, I would like to clear up a few ridiculous comments:

1. I was not hated in high school; I was the homecoming princess.
2. I was not a slut in high school; I slept with 1 person. I didn’t become a slut until college, thanks.***
3. I know I’m from the country, but I never slept with my 2nd cousin or my 2nd cousin’s boyfriend or whatever… Maybe some cows and sheep, but never a cousin. Bestiality over incest, that’s the country folks’ motto!
4. Anyone who knows my father KNOWS he would NEVER pay for me to have any type of cosmetic surgery. He is a shrewd businessman and is all about ROI - return on investment - and pretty much anything concerned with me outside of education does not meet his standards: my future wedding (God willing), my car, my clothes, etc. etc. In fact, he refers to my chest as "The Evil Boobs."
5. Yes, people called me "Bobble Head" in high school. I have an unusually large head!
6. I did not do some dude who sent flowers to my room in Vegas. Thank you very much. I was in Vegas with my MOTHER and a gentleman sent up champagne and a cheese platter.

***That was supposed to be funny. After having my father read it, I'm not so sure... but I'm not a fan of censorship, so I'm leaving it.