Monday, March 30, 2009

No Smoking, No DeLorean and No Misdemeanor Required

Channel 4 just informed all of Detroit’s junkie teenagers and unemployed how to legally get high without spending more than $12. No glaucoma diagnosis needed.


Salvia divinorum. It’s stronger than marijuana and LEGAL in Michigan.


Called nicknames like Sally-D, Magic Mint and Diviner's Sage, salvia is generally smoked, and is a hallucinogen that gives users an out-of-body sense of traveling through time and space or merging with inanimate objects.


I’ve never even smoked a cigarette, so my ears didn’t perk up until that last part about traveling through time. Coincidentally, ever since Dan Cherry wrote a rude newspaper article about me, I’ve complained that I’m going to have to legally change my name since I don’t have a time machine. Changing your name costs approximately $100. An ounce of salvia leaves sells for around $12 on the Internet. I investigated further.


Turns out this cost-effective, modern day time machine can also be chewed or made into tea and drunk.


No smoking, no DeLorean and no misdemeanor required. Finally, a reason to attend “Tea Time”??


Channel 4 referenced the Web site, Salviadragon.com, which claims salvia users report experiencing:

  • Leaving Their Body & Traveling Across The Astral World
  • Lucid Out of Body Experiences
  • Traveling Back or Forward in Time
  • Feeling Weightless and Flying Over the Astral Landscape
  • Seeing or Feeling Through Another Beings Perspective
  • Finding Hidden Answers and Secret Knowledge
  • Meeting Entities And Other Non-Physical Beings
  • A Feeling of Oneness and Peace With The Universe


Apparently the content provider at Salviadragon.com is too busy soaring the astral landscape to learn possessive grammar.


Anyway, after my experience with Oxygen and Dan Cherry at the Telegram, I really believe nothing that I hear or read and only half of what I see, so I turned to YouTube.com.




Sweet baby Jesus! The user never even attempted his U-Turn! In addition, none of the users in any of the videos I watched report remembering what occurred during their high. They all blacked out.


If my research is any indication, Salviadragon.com is as reliable as the tabloids. I experienced several wine induced “blackouts” during college. The only G-d I remember was the porcelain G-d at 6 AM. A blackout is referred to as a blackout because the victim doesn’t remember anything. Doing salvia is a good way to make a complete asshole out of yourself; even if you do have a good time you're going to have to have YouTube or your pals fill you in. So although salvia is cost-effective and legal, so is a bottle of wine from CostCo.


Kids: Stay off drugs and stay in school! If you really want to screw up your lives, wait until you’re 21 and booze it up or try out for reality television!



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3 comments:

  1. Excuse me, but Salvia divinorum is a great plant and a very powerful medicine. Many people abuse it, trying to get high from it. There's no comparison to it except perhaps in term of scale and it would be like comparing the size of molehills to mountains to asteroids, planets, and stars. It is extremely safe compared to alcohol and nicotine. People really need to be educated on the plant and proper, respectful use. Read up on it, this is where the best User's Guide to Salvia divinorum can be found http://www.sagewisdom.org/usersguide.html and for the FAQs
    http://www.sagewisdom.org/faq.html

    and the general site for education on Salvia visit
    http://www.sagewisdom.org/

    You have the right to work with nature to heal body and mind, government, organized religion, and big business (especially the drug companies), would deny you that right only out of ignorance greed and resentment/prejudice. Educate and empower yourself. Even Wikipedia has a helpful entry on Salvia divinorum http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvia_divinorum .

    Be safe, free, happy, and well,
    namaste, and blessed be,
    DNA

    ReplyDelete
  2. And of course, the video that you posted was produced as a joke and he never had the real keys to the car. It was made to show that something as introspective of an experience (such as Salvia divinorum provides) would be as absurd to do while driving as would journaling or making love or deep eyes closed meditation (while driving).

    Drugs are everywhere, educate yourselves. A "drug" coming from the Dutch root "droog" originally meaning a "dried" substance, usually making it more concentrated in its active ingredients. In that sense, salt, sugar, all teas (herbal as well) coffee, chocolate, spices etc...are drugs. The common term "drug" now implies any substance intended for use in the diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease (dis-ease). People go to the "drug"store (or healthfood store or garden) for ...? Whatever cure or treatment of what ails them or to provide enhancement of health such as Chamomile for digestion, relaxation, and ease of being.

    People just need to be better informed than through the hype from the general news and websites that are primarily geared toward the sale of their "products" (eg. the SalviaDragon site) rather than promoting the safe and respectful use of something that can be grown easily at home for free if desired. www.sagewisdom.org is such and informational site (yes you can also get salvia from them but most of the site is geared towards education), if you have good salvia it doesn't matter what the source, it's always God/Goddess/Gaia...if one is atheist it will still put you in touch with That WhatEver from Which the Universe and All Experience Arises from and Returns to.

    Be safe, be well,
    be at peace.
    DNA

    PS. the most favorable way is done by chewing the fresh leaves in quiet darkness. Smoking it requires more caution and can be too fast and furious, especially bewildering when the lights are on and looking about at the surface or seeming reality. Remember things aren't ultimately solids, they're vibrations. Salvia divinorum can help one see/experience that field of vibrational unity safely (esp used meditatively, not recreationaly).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow salvia is an powerful medicine plant.Now salvia has an excellent contest click on to http://www.freshsalvia.com/contest.html
    and here: http://www.freshsalvia.com/blog/?cat=3 Don't miss it! Visit today and enjoy more prizes

    ReplyDelete