Reaction to the Haters Update

Nonfiction

Thanks to some nifty Internet software, I know who my haters are and would like to address the 2 most irritating of the bunch:

1. To an inherently sweet girl who contacted me about her ex-boyfriend: thank you for refraining from writing rude things within the last week or so. I appreciate it! :). I scratched your back and it looks like you're refraining from putting a knife in mine. I'm actually cool with you and wish you the best. Although you called me some mean things... I did some MySpace research after receiving your IP and want you to know that you are really cute. You may have even inspired me to darken my hair! :) No reason to hate... just love yourself!

2. To an ex who spent his work day (on his work computer!) on March 23rd stalking me from approx 1 PM - 5 PM, with the work IP address of 63.87.94.130 and home IP address of 76.29.59.193: I'm sure your company would fire you if it knew how you were spending their resources in such an unproductive way! Jobs are scarce these days.... you should know better. You have a mortgage; be more responsible and wait until you get home from work (like you did today, March 24). Don't get me wrong... I do thank you for the traffic, but I do not appreciate the negative comments. Please refrain in the future. Thanks. You sent me an email a while back with incriminating information. Thank the baby Jesus I'm not as big of an asshole as you are and am not sending it to your woman or posting it on my blog. Dude, it's been over 7 years and you haven't changed! Seriously, grow up.

Because I have more courtesy than the two of you combined, I won't publish your names today. However, please understand that if you threaten me or go out of your way to hurt me in the future, I will happily publish your names, parents' names and hometowns (like you did to me).

***My response better be worth some karma points!